I’m sitting with my feet up on the big comfy couch in my living room. I stare out the window in front of me, and since I have the blinds pulled up to the top, I can see the grey overcast sky so thick with fog that I can’t find the sun. My cat is pacing across the top of the couch like a new father in the waiting room of labor and delivery. She sees a lizard doing reptile pushups. I read somewhere that it’s a mating thing, but I secretly think they are just showing off ! They probably watch me trying to do even one pushup, silent laughing (I’ve never heard a lizard laugh, so they must do it quietly.), Then they purposely sit on my windowsill, knowing I’m struggling, so they push out like 25 in a minute! Jerks! I won’t try to save them next time they get trapped in the house, I’m let my cat play with it, eat it, spit it back out and continue to play with it … all while I sit quietly laughing so they know it’s personal!
Well … that went in a totally different than I thought, but really it will make perfectly imperfect sense soon! Well, those that have followed along with me, know that I was a photographer for a long time and since I’ve had this blog for 8 years you know I like to write. Looking at the amount of posts in an 8 year period, you would think I hated it, now that I look at it. I don’t hate writing, I absolutely love it, just like the small bowl of cheddar cheese goldfish that I’m devouring! When I’m writing, it’s actually freakishly similar to eating these goldfish, because I do it so effortlessly, that I don’t feel like I’m eating an entire bag or writing a small novel!
If you’ve followed along on my blog posts, website, Facebook or even Instagram, you would see my love/hate relationship with photography. The art and act of Photography is a deep love of mine, it’s in my soul and no matter how many times I have walked away, run away or hid in a small closet from it … it still finds me, it knows my heart and knows how I cherish that gift. All that being said, I despise what has happened to the photography industry. Just like a an older women of incredible size and lack of balance, with no grace, rhythm or strength , it’s fine if she dances in her house, with family and friends, but … she probably (just a hunch) shouldn’t try out for “So you think you can dance?” Neither should someone who just picked up a new $300 camera on Craigslist last week, think that they should post an ad and offer their services as a “Professional Photographer” to poorly document and disfigure an entire wedding party with over editing each photo, all for the bargain price of $100! I’m all for starting out somewhere and I did many weddings and events for free in the beginning, until I was competent and consistent to charge for my services. I went through stages of trying to keep up with every new fad and dropping them as fast as they went away …by the way the black and white photos with just a spot of color, that has been gone for years, it wasn’t even that cool then, please stop! I love to shoot, to capture cool moments and feelings, but I hate to edit! I know I could hire someone else to edit, but really why, it’s my work, I feel editing your own work should be required to still slap your watermark on it and call it yours! I was taught, online by some incredible photographers, that you try to take a better photo and less editing in post processing. However, I like all the cool presets and filters, it’s fun, frustrating and exhausting! So, I’m not looking to carry my photography any further, unless it creeps into me while I’m sleeping and possesses my mind, which then I still haven’t conscientiously made the decision to move forward, so okay, there’s that scenario. I want to just use it when I want, for what I want, with no expectations or pressure. Well, we will see how long this last … this time!
I’ve been writing poetry and stories since I was a kid. I still have the first poem that I wrote my best friend Natalie when I was like 8 years old. Looking back, not bad for an 8 year old who grew up back then, as for an 8 yr old now … it would be total crap and a 4 yr old could wipe the pavement with me. I saw my love for writing and the ability to tell stories, woven like a fine silver thread through my life and now I feel I want there to be a greater concentration of silver in this part of the hand-made cozy blanket of my life.
Where was I going with all of this clown up on a soap-box blog post … to tell you that I have a hunch that you’ll see a bit more of my blog posts popping up in the near future. As for what you will find here, well, I can’t really be sure, I just want to write to get it out of my head. Sometimes I want to paint you a picture of something touching and beautiful and other times it’s something silly and pure brilliance! Either way, I hope that you will stick around to see how this all turns out. I’ve got my bag of popcorn out now and I’m waiting for the good stuff to happen now too, so lets see where this circus will stop next!